Somewhere past the halfway mark

So it's gonna be April, or, 2.5 months to the end of PI and I am feeling... ambivalent about the whole thing. It's been a good experience so far, and I'm thankful for the people I work with, who've made work that can be trivial at times, bearable. Ok, more than bearable.

Don't get me wrong, I do look forward to going back to school and hanging with you guys at the benches, doing projects that matter to people, etc etc. It's just... gah. It's just one more year left before work starts for real. And there's no more room for stupid mistakes (mistakes yes, but not stupid mistakes) or excuses and holidays and me-time.

The boss asked me today if I wanted to do PR when I grad (loaded question). And I said that I was still considering. Was I? I don't know. Perhaps it's just a reflex action I've developed to people asking me what I want to do when I graduate. Have I already made up my mind? Can I commit do doing work that probably won't mean anything to the average person? Wouldn't I really rather write for a living?

Truth be told, I love reporting. I love the feeling of being in the newsroom, so close to the buzz, with interesting and articulate colleagues. I love putting pen to paper and coming up with stories I know I can write. I love being good at what I do. I love having a job that affects the average Singaporean in the way high-handed gahmen agencies can only hope to emulate, using poorly thought out schemes and campaigns.

A scribe was what I decided I wanted to be when I was 15, and thought how cool a reporter's job would be. That never changed till early last year, and I'm not sure that part of me will ever go away.

PR's not bad, but it's not great. Can I still make a difference? Perhaps the only way to tell is to do a stint at a paper. Hmm. Maybe. Sigh.